Death by Tabasco - Part 3

Life wouldn't have been so bad if Clive had remembered our anniversary or even my birthday from time to time. We had parties for the boys when they were young, but other than that, an anniversary or MY birthday was "just another day."

I should have realized it from the beginning. Clive never wooed me with flowers of the usual things. Actually, I don't think he did anything other than ask me to marry him and even then, his mother had to remind him to go to the wedding! Yes, I should have known...taken it as a sign. But, when you're young and, in my case, stupid you can't see beyond the end of your own nose.

Never one to cry over spilt milk, I made the best of a bad situation. I took up racing. Cars, that is. As unbelievable as that is, I did indeed take up racing. I needed some excitement and a way to get out some of my aggression. (Murder is frowned upon in this state.) I got quite good, actually and even won a few ribbons and trophies, which is no small feat for a woman in her 50's. Mild mannered looking on the outside, but a wild woman on the inside.

Shaking myself out of my reverie, I looked down at Clive's lifeless body and decided that I needed to call Sheriff Otto. It felt like an eternity had passed, but it was actually only about five minutes. I walked over to the phone trying to watch where I was going. As I stepped over Clive, I couldn't help thinking of my prized braided rug. I'd wanted to get one from L.L. Bean for the longest time and they aren't cheap!

Obsessed with a braided rug? You bet! It was hard won, that rug. Clive was dead set (no pun intended, folks) against spending money on something as silly as a braided rug. He thought they were frivolous and didn't look like something anyone should pay more than ten dollars for. But, I got my way after threatening him with beans and hot dogs again. (I'm not one to turn my nose up at a little bribery when the occasion calls for it.)

Having made the call and making my way back to my recliner, I started thinking that I probably should have tried CPR but I've only seen it performed on TV and would have done more harm than good. Knowing Clive, he'd realize that I was the one trying to save him and insist on having someone who didn't want him dead. After the bean and hot dog episode, he was suspicious of everything I did. Can't say as I blame him.

It was going to take Otto a few minute to get there since I disturbed his dinner. So, I sat back and enjoyed the movie. You know, I'm not really surprised that Otto didn't believe me when I told him Clive kicked the bucket. He even said, "Quit pulling my leg, Dee." When I told him I was serious, it sounded like he was choking on something. Clive and I were always saying things like we'd kill each other some day, etc. The only reason we didn't was because neither of us could bear the thought of having to be alone nor starting over with someone else, who probably would put up with our antics anyway.

Otto was used to our nagging one another. So, I think that was the reason he chortled with laughter saying, "Oh, come on Dee, quit pulling my leg, I'm eating here." I think it started sinking in when I told him about the blood that was starting to ruin my new rug. Otto knows about "The Rug" and was always afraid to take sides. Otto didn't go to college, but that didn't mean he was ignorant. That, and the fact that he's known us since grade school, meant he couldn't takes sides. He also knew that he'd never have any peace from either Clive or me if he did.